


The Wedding Guest

by Bigmurderenergy



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: And love, F/F, F/M, Touching, Weddings are hard, and ben being the most awkward, contemplation on weddings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:13:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23812123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bigmurderenergy/pseuds/Bigmurderenergy
Summary: A short vignette.Ben attends the wedding of Finn and Poe.Has a brooding session on the meaning of love. Then Rey shows up.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16





	The Wedding Guest

Everything kept moving around him. Guests moving to and from the free bar in the far corner of the field. Strands of grass wafting in the light breeze. Waiting staff collecting empty glasses or plates from any flat surface. Blossom petals drifting lazily from the large overhanging trees canopying the party from the slowly moving sun as it meanders across the clear blue sky.

It was an early afternoon at this point, but Ben could swear that time was playing tricks with his mind as he felt this wedding had been taking place over at least a week at this point.

He could barely remember getting dressed into the tight black tuxedo, the material suffocating in the warm sunshine. It was a bad choice with all the movement he had been having to do all day. As an unwilling usher, his job included escorting family members and friends to their seats, making small talk with previously mentioned nuisances, looking good in a tux, smiling, and pretending he was having a nice time.

Weddings are hard.

He wasn’t entirely sure why he’d been invited in the first place. Ben isn’t exactly a wedding person.

However, he was assured the bar was free and it would gratify his mother. One of these things made him feel a bit better about the whole situation. Unfortunately, the alcohol was $8 Chablis that could be found at most supermarkets. Also, it was a Chablis. Not a Champagne. Or even a Prosecco. Chablis. Indistinct, white, posh sounding to anyone outside of Europe. Maybe Ben was being a bit pretentious. Maybe he had drank better wine out of his own shoes.

Poe was trying to do this thing on a budget. Hence getting married in a field.

Finn did not seem to care. As long he got to stand in front of a crowd and declare his love for his new husband. Which he seemed to be spending most of the day shouting about for some reason. It was all so… tiresome.

Ben took another sip of sour white wine. He had absconded his job as an Usher the moment the wedding bells played off the tinny speakers around the garden chairs. Poe and Finn running down the haphazardly arranged aisle, a long trail of white tissue paper leading them to the rest of the field.

Standing in the middle of the field now, sheltered from the hot sun by the lush green leaves of the oak above him. Ben figured this would be a good time to contemplate the love that brought him to this very moment. The joy he saw as the men embraced under the applause of their closest and dearest. It had been hours, potentially, since this had happened. Yet, Ben felt so non-plussed by the love and affection these individuals showed for one another. His damned mother, however, was very good friends with both and for some reason was officiating this unholy union.

A lot of things crossed his mind as he stood there, mostly just pleased that his imposing presence made people think twice about trying to make small talk with him. A quick glare was all it took to convince anyone who thought otherwise.

Love? What was the point? It was not necessarily an emotion Ben had ever been that comfortable with, even in the familial sense. Not that he did not love his mother, hence his presence at this farce. However, as far as romantic love went. It never seemed to cross his mind in all his years.

The point always seemed to be… this. Marriage, children, companionship until each of the pair dies. A very narrow view, no doubt.

Thousands of expressions of art expressed over several millennia. Which Ben had even forced himself to experience some of from time to time, just to get an idea of what this “love” thing was all about? None seemed to express the nuance of it adequately. Most often going for the bombast. Love at first sight. Sexual lust. Mutual affection. Shared interest. Desire. Need. Longing.

There had to be something missing.

Ben tried to recollect the first time he had experienced even an inkling of what that “magical” feeling was like. Mostly leading him back to previous relationships which tended to end of failure due to his inability to express any feelings at all.

Therapy had taught him that it wasn’t that he was incapable of experiencing true emotions, it’s just that he wasn’t equipped to communicate them. Even to himself. Decades of therapy, thousands of dollars from his own pocket, and still. Love seemed a foreign language. A form of communication he couldn’t fully comprehend.

He saw the way Poe and Finn fawned over one another, couldn’t keep their hands off each other at the most inopportune times, during a legal ceremony no less. Ben tried to recall if he ever felt that overwhelmed with a previous partner.

Is this why people attend weddings? To live vicariously through the love of other people? Congratulate them in their willingness to put with each other for an extended, legally realised period of time? It was hardly the celebration of tax breaks.

Do not even get Ben started on the original meaning of marriage which tended to be the exchange of goods and services, namely the woman in the middle.

However, this did not seem to be the case with Finn and Poe. Their union was outside the original purview of the definition of marriage. One of the main aspects being, neither had any assets to speak of. Both were committing to it out of love. A more modern approach to the entire establishment.

Once again, love. This intangible, overwhelming emotion that drenched this entire day.

It was in his melancholy he completely neglected to acknowledge someone sliding up beside him.

It took a small cough and nervous smile to bring him out of his thoughts.

Ah. The bridesmaid.

“Hey Ben.” Rey smiled brightly. “Thought you looked lonely.”

She was in blue. A bridesmaid dress, wafts of turquoise organza against a tight lace bodice. Her hair tied back into tight buns; strands of hair styled to lay against her bare shoulders. A glass of Chablis in hand.

She looked genuinely happy. Cheeks flush with a smile she didn’t seem to have trouble maintaining. Her eyes bright with something Ben couldn’t pinpoint. Maybe it was the alcohol.

“You thought wrong.” Ben replied as stoically as he could manage. He couldn’t help but glance at her dress. It was potentially the first time he’d seen her dressed in such a way. Rey always preferred the more practical. Pants and t-shirts or tank tops. Hands always stained with oil, today manicured and polished.

Ben preferred neither. Just acknowledged the difference. She seemed to clean up well. Much like himself.

“Ah. My mistake. I must have completely misinterpreted the guy standing alone under the biggest tree in the field.” Rey was still looking at him.

“Yes. I stood here to be out of the way.” Ben replied petulantly.

“In the most obvious spot on the field.”

“Yes.”

“Right.” Rey laughed lightly.

“Maybe I just wanted to stand in the shade.” Ben sniffed.

“There’s a marquee.” Rey gestured. “You afraid of people?”

“These people? Absolutely.” Ben tried for sardonic.

“Was that a smile?”

“No.”

“I think I saw Ben Solo just smile. A miracle has happened this day.” Rey was still looking at him directly.

“You’re mistaken.” Ben snorted.

“Again! Another smile!” She was getting closer, peering into his face, “Or at least a grin.”

Ben took a small step back. Looking her in the eye. She was defiant. And something else he couldn’t quite pinpoint.

Rey was one of the few people at this event Ben had met beforehand. A protégé of his mother in the car industry. A natural with most engines and a maestro with mechanics she’d taken to the craft very quickly. A close friend of Finn when he moved to the country as an immigrant in need of a job. A talented colleague of Poe’s. She was the reason any of this was even happening, matchmaking them years before.

A woman who saw love before it blossomed fully. A person who felt everything around her with an astounding clarity.

Leia frequently talked about her at home before Ben moved out, mostly about her talent, but also her verve. Ben wasn’t jealous of this attention, but he remembered every conversation his mother initiated about this strange girl. Specifically, the ones about her verve and _love_ for life. Love. This girl. Her capacity to love.

Yet here she stood in the bridesmaid dress. Lonely enough to see Ben out under the big oak tree.

Maybe he looked that pathetic.

He felt her hand against his shoulder.

“Hold still for a sec.” She almost whispered, leaning in.

He tried to guess her motivation as she held his upper arm and lent in.

He thought she was going to kiss his cheek, maybe his lips.

But no.

She brushed her fingers to his left cheekbone.

She brought her hand back. “Make a wish.”

The world seemed to stand still in that moment. Petals stopped drifting, people stopped moving, Ben stopped breathing. Rey’s lips pursued to blow against her fingers, one attached to his eyelash. He could still feel the warmth of her against his cheek.

Make a wish.

She blew.

Time moved once more.

He saw the brightness of her eyes, the smile she gave him.

Ben took some time to contemplate those feelings people experience at weddings again.

**Author's Note:**

> I have an idea for a second chapter involving Rey's perspective at the nighttime reception. Probably post that when I get the writing bug again.


End file.
